She says that young adults often need an emotional outlet but aren’t comfortable going to adults.
Macchia says that this can take on different forms, from a friend going through a bad breakup to a conflict among friends to self-harm or even suicidal ideation. “It really is impacting them so much to have to feel responsible for their friends as well.”ĭr. “I have a number of students who come to me and the presenting problem of the day might not be their own symptoms,” says Lindsay Macchia, PhD, an associate psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.
#Mean things to say to your friend how to
It’s especially hard to decide when you should bring it to the attention of an adult, and how to do that without breaking your friend’s trust.ĭepression and bipolar disorder affect nearly 15 percent of teens and one in three teens will meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder by the time they’re 18, so negative feelings, when they last a long time or are overwhelming, are nothing to be dismissive of. It’s hard to know when all you need to do is listen, when to say something, and what to say. So it makes sense that teenagers struggling with mental health challenges would turn to their friends to vent, unload, and ask for backup.īut it can be difficult to figure out when a friend who is feeling down or anxious is just moody and when it’s something more. We rely on our friends for a lot of things, and that definitely includes providing emotional support when things are difficult. If the stress of helping your friend is making you depressed or anxious, that’s a big sign that an adult needs to step in. And you don’t have to feel guilty if things in your life are good. It’s not your job to be there for them 24/7. Sometimes friends who are hurting ask too much without even knowing it. And if they start talking about hurting themselves or dying, you need to tell an adult right away. But if you think they’ve got an eating disorder or another serious problem, then they need more help than you can give. That’s hard to do if you feel like you’re going behind your friend’s back. If their feelings of depression or anxiety go on for weeks, it may be time to tell your parents or theirs.
But they may be too depressed to join in when you ask, and that’s okay too. Being with other people instead of alone is good for them. This is especially true if your friend is going through something like a breakup. Sometimes getting your friend involved in something social and fun can help. You can help by just listening and saying something like: “That sounds really hard.” Listening is an important way to show that you care. And teens tend to turn to their friends rather than parents for support. The teenage years are when a lot of mental health problems show up.
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